re:View – Star Trek: Into Khan’s Private Quarters Please Darkness

So I’ve been to the cinema to watch Something With Benedict Cumberbatch In It Start Trek: Into Darkness. And was quite surprised to be reminded how much I used to love Star Trek. (Not sure how I ever forgot.)

I don’t think my brain is currently working enough to put a coherent review together, so I’ll just write down some thoughts that crossed my mind while watching the movie, in roughly chronological order. If you manage to make any sense of this, the result might contain some spoilers.

  1. Spock’s a hero.
  2. Kirk’s a hero, too.
  3. Heroism is well underrated in Starfleet HQ.
  4. Spock just doesn’t get it, does he?
  6. Kirk’s being a hero again.
  7. Benedict Cumberbatch is extremely watchable in spandex this role.
  9. Simon Pegg as Scotty is one of the funniest things the Enterprise has ever seen.
  10. There’s not enough of Benedict Cumberbatch in this film.
  11. Oh hello, you beautiful dark stranger wielding futuristic heavy weapons!
  12. Khan: 1; Klingon army: 0
  13. NOT THE FACE!!!!!!!
  14. Kirk remembers he’s got some moral integrity.
  15. (And he’s so going to regret it.)
  16. Khan has a heart. And a bloody good reason for doing all this evil shit.
  17. Benedict Cumberbatch’s acting is flawless. That tear…
  18. Unexpected shit happens.
  19. Everyone on board gets their turn at being a hero.
  20. Kirk-sickle and Khan-sickle shooting through space faster than the speed of light. TOO. FUCKING. EXCITING.
  21. Scotty saves the day.
  22. Khan: “BTW I’m actually totally evil AND YOU WILL ALL DIE NOW, kthxbye.”
  23. Assorted heroism; stuff breaks big time.
  24. Khan actually gets hotter the more violent he becomes.
  25. Spock finally gets it and proceeds to being an even bigger hero.
  27. Kirk’s still the biggest hero of them all.
  28. Some tragic shit happens and I get a bit worried.
  29. Naah, of course it ends well. It’s Star Trek!
  30. I’ll faint now. Just freeze me and put me in that cryotube with Khan, ok?

The best thing about this film, though, is the fact that it inspired the Internet to do THIS:


These are from the guys awesome lady at Khan&Kittens on tumblr and there are dozens more…


  1. Khan & Kittens

    I was hunting for more screen shots of Star Trek Into Darkness and came across that last photo and went, “Who DARES to steal my silly photoshopping?!” And it turns out it was you. And you linked it to my tumblr. And I may be currently linking this article to everyone I know. Also all of my friends agree with #24. Especially Sara. In other words, THANK YOU. If my oven worked I would bake you cookies. You like cookies? You seem too awesome to not like cookies.

    • fille_bohème

      I’d do pretty much anything for cookies! Especially since I’m completely incapable of baking decent cookies. I can bake you a cake in return though!

      I’m loving your Khan & Kittens edits SO MUCH. It’s literally the most awesome thing I’ve found on the internet in months :)

  2. fille_bohème

    Thanks for pointing that out, I have edited it. Was using the term “guys” in a gender neutral way as I didn’t know who and how many people are running the account ;)

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