Woman breaks into house, strips to her underpants, bakes fairy cakes

…is the headline you’ll probably be reading if I decide to go down the career path of the (by now no doubt famous) Chicken Pot Pie Burglar.

Thank you, sir, for making my day. I hope it was a good pie and worth jail etc., not one of those crap ready meal ones.

That’s all I have to say about this, really. Carry on.